I am intrigued as to how similar and
complementary, Transactional Analysis (TA) and spirituality is and will like to put out some ideas and
thoughts for discussion.
Spirituality and the TA paradigm
Spirituality is sometimes seen as the divine consciousness that
leads to unity consciousness; unity consciousness being the feelings and
thoughts that make us feel connected and loved. Spirituality gives me a sense of self that
is worthy and important as an individual and yet connected to and supported by the
rest of the universe. Spirit-uality often reminds me of that powerful intelligence that quietly works in the background to regulate and adapt to changes within me and around me. It is the intelligence that created and formed me in my mother's womb; the intelligence that guides, protects and keeps me alive moment by moment. In spirituality, I feel the sense of an intelligence, a collective consciousness that supports me as an individual in my quest to achieve my highest potential.
TA processes the collective and individual beliefs that
influence a person’s way of thinking, feeling and behaving. The theories in TA emphasise that our early
experiences determine how we perceive and interpret life and the events that happened and are happening to us. Our beliefs about life are mostly
influenced by our parents and/or caregivers in early childhood. In later life our Adult ego state, processes
the injunctions from our parents and the beliefs and decisions arrived at in
and from our “Child” ego state. The
Parent and Child ego states are influenced by a collective consciousness – what
society and culture professes as good or bad.
TA’s main psychological paradigm is that everyone is ok, “I’m Ok You’re Ok” and that as long as one can think, one can also change. Through this principle of "I'm Ok, You're Ok", it advocates the total acceptance of the individual self and the other and promotes the mental attitude of equality, understood through one's upbringing and developmental processes. We are connected by and through the same intelligence that formed us and continues to form and protect us, yet we are different and unique because of the conditioning from our cultures, parents, peer groups and society.
Similarities in Theories
I regard TA as the practical guide and support to Spirituality. TA theories take me to that place where I can individually identify the beliefs and thoughts that led me to behave
and think the way I do - my upbringing that includes my background, cultural, family conditioning. I can only
question and challenge my thoughts and beliefs, which are limited to the environment in which I grew up, by identifying and
becoming aware of my learned thoughts, feelings and behaviours. Only
then can I seek out and use current and updated information to change those thoughts, beliefs and behaviour.
My life scripts, those unconscious decisions I made about life and how best I could live it, requires me to play games to reinforce my unconscious beliefs and perceptions of life by orchestrating and/or getting hooked into the same or similar experiences.
In my daily interactions my rackets are activated by the events and
relationships that stimulate my scripts and reinforce my beliefs.
Spiritual leader Caroline Myss uses the term “Woundology”* to describe, what I believe is life
scripts, games and rackets. "Woundology” is when people use their
“wounds”, bad experiences and/or traumas to identify with certain groups and
people. She explains that we also use
our “wounds” to identify and align with our personality and with those with
similar views on life. “Woundology”, keeps us stuck with the same
group of people because the group members have had similar experiences; it
feels comfortable to be part of the group because members have common themes
and topics to discuss. In such groups rackets,
games and racket feelings are positively high and conversations can go on
almost indefinitely. “Woundology” justifies
our life scripts and explains our present status and situation in life.
Eckhart Tolle, a prominent spiritual leader, talks of the “pain body”**; the subconscious experiences that subconsciously direct our actions and reactions to life and events. Eckhart Tolle’s pain body is caused by the bad experiences and wounds that we accumulate through the years. We feel comfortable attracting events and interactions that strengthen our pain bodies. The pain body is easily triggered by events or situations similar to those that caused them in the first place. Pain bodies are easily activated and kept active in close and intimate relationships because it is easier to use our close relatives and friends to reactivate and keep the pain body active. The pain body like racket feelings keep us “comfortable” and justifies our view of the world. It also justifies and strengthens our life scripts and possibly symbiotic relationships.
One of my favourite mindfulness teachers, Thich Nhat Hanh, writes and I quote: “People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar.”***
Originating from Buddhism, mindfulness is another way of achieving inner peace. Mindfulness is the art of being in the present moment; being in touch with our feelings, thoughts as well as being observant, empathetic and in tune with the feelings of the other or others in our presence. In TA terms, this would mean being in our Adult at all times and reacting and processing only the information, thoughts, feelings of the present moment. Past experiences might be influencing our feelings and thoughts but we use up-to-date information to process and interact with the other. “Life is available only in the present moment.”****
Gary Zukav talks of authentic partnerships. He explains that authentic or spiritual
partnerships are open, honest and truthful relationships. The only way, according to Zukav that we can
express our authentic selves and achieve inner peace is by having and
cultivating authentic relationships. As in TA, Zukav’s authentic self includes
feelings, emotions, thoughts and beliefs that cause us to behave and interact
in certain ways. When we express these
from our Adult and in an Adult transaction we gain and maintain authentic power
and inner peace.
Complementary
We need a lot more than the understanding of our past
experiences to be able to stay present and think and act continuously in our
Adult. Our life script, in-bedded in our
subconscious mind, subconsciously pushes us to act and be in certain ways. TA identifies the past experiences that make
us react in certain ways. However we
need something more to help us speak and behave appropriately in the
moment. Something deeper that leads us
to simply “be” and be ok. Spirituality
explains this way of “being”. An inner
peace; a knowing that cannot be explained and yet can be experienced. TA gives us some of the tools to get to that
spiritual place where we can say with conviction that we are all ok – I am ok,
You are ok.
Lastly my thought for the day is from Thich Nhat Hahn: “When another person
makes you suffer, it is because he suffers deeply within himself, and his
suffering is spilling over. He does not need punishment; he needs help. That's
the message he is sending.”***
*Caroline Myss, Why People Don’t Heal And How They Can, Bantam Books, 1998
**Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now, A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment, Hodder
Paperbacks, 2001 and A New Earth,
Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose, Penguin Group, 2005
***Thich
Nhat Hanh, Taming the Tiger Within:
Meditations on Transforming Difficult Emotions, Riverhead Books, US, 2005
****Gary Zukav, Spiritual Partnerships, The Journey to Authentic Power
***Thich Nhat Hanh, ibid
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